Maytown, Kentucky

I just returned from Maytown, Kentucky and I left my heart there.

I will blog more when I'm not so tired and not trying to upload pictures. But I will put some.

This past week was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. My mind has been stuck on waiting to hear from God, waiting to hear what his direction is for my life, and I went into this week hoping to hear those plans from him. What I got was so much more. It seemed like everyone around me has their life figured out and I was left by myself, however I met some interns this week who were in the same place I am in or have been there before.

I got to spend time speaking with a few of them and it was encouraging to find I wasn't the only one. Jody just finished his first year of college and isn't returning and actually doesn't know where he will be. I found that we were both searching and waiting for some direction from God. I pray God gives us both clear paths for our next move. Allison was freakin sweet and is actually a student at Ball State. BSU is her 4th college because none of the others seemed to be a good fit. Jimmy just graduated and thought he had his whole life planned out. He quickly realized they were his plans and not God's. He planned on moving to Colorado to open a ski/snow boarding resort, but instead he is leaving in a few months to live in Italy for a year with Campus Crusade. Erin also just graduated and is in the process of finding a job. Dan is the same year as me and well he seems to have it figured out. Ha

I dreaded today coming, because I didn't want to leave. Even thought I physically am not in Maytown, my hear is. However my heart spreads other places. It is in Corydon, Indiana and also Peachtree City, Georgia. They became a part of my story and the folks I met from those church are sweet. I'm glad I got the chance to start a friendship with them and look forward to keeping in contact.


I still don't know what my next move is or where I will be a couple months from now, but God does.



More Maytown blogging to come later :)

just for today.......

Today has been a fun day. I woke up early and went rummage saling with my mother and sister. We bought so many cute things for the baby :) I'm getting super excited for that. It was nice to just spend time with them and enjoy th beautiful weather. After that we went to my niece Madisen's baseball game. She is so cute and really loves playing ball (I say she takes after me). I walked up to the ball park and real loud from the distance I hear someone yell..."AUNT HEATHEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!!" and before I realized where it came from my niece Morgen was running full force (well as much force as a 3 year old can have) right at me and jumped right into my arms. This girl brings so much joy to my life (all my nieces do), but she just has a smile and a hug that warms my heart and she reminds me how innocent the world can be.

So for today I remembered the innocence that is around me. And today I realized I don't miss the way things were, I love how things are now. I don't want things to change from here. I sure miss Olivet, but I love home. I'm ready to be back and to see everyone :)

I'm watching the Zent kids today and Mason (age 3) keeps telling me I'm his best friend. Today is a great day. Beautiful sunny weather, not too hott, just right for a summer day. I'm surrounded by the joys and blessings God has given me, and see that my life right now is as perfect as it could get.

There is a dinner tonight at church for those who are going on the missions trip. I'm more than anxious to get on the road tomorrow :) This trip is going to be great, I can't wait to see all God will open my eyes and my heart to. I pray God uses me where he sees most beneficial. I pray that those I (and the others) come in contact with see Christ in us and that our actions and our words reflect the love of our Saviour.

1 Corinthians 13

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps not records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."



I almost didn't blog on this tonight, because well let's face it, love probably isn't my b est issue. But how can you not think about it? How can you not dream about it? How can you not hope that one day you will find it? I thought I found it and it didn't find me. Have I gotten over that feeling? Heavens no, but with time...maybe.

I look at couples all around me (especially at Olivet...because they seem to be everywhere) and I think "one day I will have what they have. I will find that one guy who is crazy about me, and isn't afraid to let the world know it. I will find a guy who loves me for who I am and the God I serve. I will find a guy who will fight for me and for our relationship. I will find that guy who won't let me walk away even when times get hard." Then I think to myself....who am I kidding. I already have a guy like that. Though I may never walk around in public holding his hand, I hold His hand everywhere I go. I have a guy who loves me for the God I serve (because I serve Him) and He would fight for me until his last breath (probably because he already did). I hate the typical "I'm in a relationship with God" rant, because let's face it we all should be in a relationship with God. But shouldn't we all want a relationship that reflects our relationship with God.

Shouldn't we want something that is never changing? Something that only gets better with time. Something that even when times get tough and times are hard we keeping fighting? God never gave up on us, he stayed on the cross until His last breath to give us the life He believes we need. He showed love in the most selfless way possible. I want a love that reflects the love God has for me. I want my love for someone to reflect the love I have for my Saviour. I want something that isn't great and ideal for a while and then when we get comfortable with each other it changes. I don't let myself get to a comfortable state with God, I keep moving forward.

"Love doesn't envy" I try not to want what others have, but I want a love that is a mirror image of my love for Christ and one that reflects the love my S.O has for Christ. Maybe I do have this love thing figured out, maybe I'm just waiting for someone who has it figured out as well.

A difference.....

I got in to my tangent again tonight with the difference between a "Christian" and a Christ-Follower. For those of you who have heard this tangent, you can by-pass this blog or you can read it if you choose to. My grandfather and I had this conversation, and well I'm not sure if he got all I was saying or not, but he at least listened.

I think the word Christian is a good verb, but a terrible adjective. I don't tell people I'm a Christian, in face I'm almost ashamed when people call me one. In Christian Formation class last semester my prof asked "If you were to stop someone on the street and asked them how they would describe a Christian what would they say?" Everyone gave the typical Sunday School answers: caring, loving, helpful, compassionate. They there was me, the girl who can't keep her mouth shut about anything. I said, "I believe if you asked about a Christian, they would say, hypocritical, judgmental, and greedy, those are just to name a few. However if you asked about a Christ-Follower then you might get compassionate, loving, and caring." If you think about it, it's true. Anyone and everyone claims to be a Christian, celebrities say that because it's what we want to hear, but their actions tell another story. When I think of a Christ-Follower I think of Mother Teresa and Gandhi, just the two most popular. I think of someone who did selfless acts for the love of others and the love of Christ. I see people who didn't stand in the limelight professing their faith, because their actions spoke louder than magazines headlines ever would. I don't find any part of being famous glamorous. They say they are doing a good thing by giving to charity, but the amount they give is nothing compared to what they could give. Look at the church today, and by that I mean look at the churches today. They are so set on who can do what part best, in stead of creating one church that works together to be the body of Christ. God didn't say Baptist give money, Nazarenes feed the hungry, Pentecostals cloth the naked, he called us all to be one body. One denomination shouldn't be one part of the body. The church should be THE body. We are so into fancy high dollar buildings, that we forget the purpose they serve. We are so worried about having an abundance of everything, that we forget about those who have nothing. I think if Jesus was to come back today, he would be ashamed with how his people are living in this world. Would we be able to recognize Jesus? Would we take the time to bow to Him? or would we pass by with the hustle and bustle of our day?

I want to live so that God can call me anywhere and at anytime. I want to be so trusting and so willing that if I got a cal at 2am needing me to be somewhere I would go, knowing that it was for the best. My eyes have been opened a lot these past few days, to a live I was getting on track with, but needed some more forward motion. I am signing at church in a couple weeks with a little girl from the church, and the song we are signing is a little kids praise song, but even at 20 years old it rings true to a life I want to live.

"I'm gonna live so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime
I'm gonna live so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime

I'm gonna work so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime
I'm gonna work so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime

I'm gonna pray so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime
I'm gonna pray so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime

I'm gonna sing so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime
I'm gonna sing so God can use me
anywhere Lord, anytime"



Anywhere Lord and anytime, I am yours. Use me where you see best fit.

My Jesus

I was leaving my friend a wall posting on facebook the other day when her about me said to check out a song called "My Jesus". Since I love music I figured I would. I looked at the lyrics and fell in love with the song without even listening to it.

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side
or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus

I want to be like my Jesus instead of looking like everyone else in the world today. Majority of us seem like mirror images of everyone around us. We act a certain way around some people, but when are with people of our past it's so easy to get sucked into their lifestyle. I had this conversation with one of my friends last night. I was with some friends in one om friends hometown and we met some of their friends from High School. The friends from High School were not Christians and it amazed me how fast their mode of conversation could change. My friend who is a strong Christian went to perverted mode real fast, gave into their jokes and crude humor and never thought twice about it. I asked one of my other friends if they noticed and they said yes and I asked...Why are we doing anything about it then? How is sinking down to their level bettering the kingdom of God? How is that being Jesus?

Within the past couple of days I have been spending time with people who I knew but never knew real well, and I have enjoyed every minute I have been with them. I spent last night sharing stories of the past with a girl who knows exactly where I come from because she's been there too. I've spoken to people from back home who I swore (not literally) I would never talk to again. Why? Because I want to be Jesus. I've taken on this whole care free no worries lifestyle and the past few days have been the best I've felt in a while. Let me re-think that. Since the beginning of 2008 life has never been better, I've really felt myself thirsting for God and drawing near to His word. I've found myself meeting new people and starting friendships that I'm so glad to have. I've found myself breaking down barriors and breaking down walls that I never thought would budge. I've found myself loving, everyone around me. But the past few days have just been a sense of peace and calmness. I know God has it under control.

I kind of got of subject with the song, but I'm hoping that this care free - worry free lifestyle is one step closer to being like Jesus. It's hard to be like the coolest man who ever walked the planet. I know I will never perfect it, but with each new day I can try. I love all who near me (and those who aren't), I can forgive those who have hurt me, I can take the time out of my day when someone needs me, I can learn to be a bit more flexible with my schedule (I'm a very planned out girl), I can learn to talk to everyone I pass by (I do if I make eye contact), I can learn to put myself and my feelings on the line. I want to be like my Jesus. I have the most amazing friends and family to keep me guided on that path.

my dearest.....

Oh my dearest Christen**, how I miss her :)

Christen was my best friend throughout my senior year of high school. We were inseparable, we did everything together and she was an amazing friend. Never thought I would ever lose this girl.

I graduated high school and went on to college (Christen was a HS senior my freshman year of college). Like college can do sometimes it drifted Christen and I apart. I came back to coach HS bowling (she bowled for one of the other teams) and it seemed everything about Christen had changed. She was a proclaimed lesbian, smoking and drinking. I missed my best friend so much, and never realized it until then. I knew then Christen needed my prayers.

I lost touch with her again when I moved to Illinois, but she still was everyday apart of my prayers. I spoke with her beginning of spring semester this past school year and she told me wonderful news. She had quit smoking,drinking, and hadn't touched any illegal drugs in months. She was close to having a full time job and looking to start college in the fall. I knew God was listening to my prayers. I kept in touch with her for a couple weeks and then the semester got busy and I found myself not talking to her again.

I got a text from Christen today :). She is doing well. She got the full time job. Her parents let her move back in and said she could stay as long as she needed until she could pay for her own place. (That is a HUGE deal because things are not usually good between her and her parents). She is looking into going to film production and is still clean from drinking, drugs and smoking. She is still a proclaimed lesbian, but I know that God is still answering my prayers. I am so excited to hear all she has been doing with her life.


God really is a man of His word. He listens even when we think He isn't. I'm so happy to have Him in control on my life now. Never could I imagine turning away again :)



**The name was changed for privacy purposes

The #2 door....

"I [am learning] to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I [am learning] the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4v11-13


Contentment - something I wish this world knew more of. I fail at this many times. (In fact most of my blogs are written as a lesson for myself...not something I'm telling people to learn). It seems to me that everyone around us always wants something more. We are never satisfied with what we have. We measure our success by the possessions we have, not the lives we have touched. We always expect more from people around us instead of being happy with what they give to us, the mark they leave on our lives.

" Just as soon as I get what I want
I get unsatisfied,
Good is good but could be better

I keep looking, I keep looking for,
I keep looking for something more
I always wondered what's on the other side
Of the number two door
I keep looking, looking for something more."
-Sarah Evans

Isn't that how many of us are? We want it all and when we get it we never think it's enough.

As the scripture read I'm learning to be content and I'm learning to be satisfied. When God looks at us, he never wonders what's behind the other door. He never wants more, he just wants it all, he never demands more than our everything. Shouldn't we just want all people can give us? Shouldn't we want to give our all in the name of Jesus?

I'm satisfied with everything I have in my life. (If you would have asked me a couple weeks ago that wouldn't have been the case), but today....I'm grateful for what I have. I don't want to expect more than what I have. In order for me to deserve more shouldn't I give more? God has given me all I need, why should I want for more?





"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand my soul, LORD to you surrender
All I have is yours"