Monday, August 25, 2008

The summer is coming to an end.

As I write this, I have less than 2 days before my junior year of college begins. I can't believe it's my 3rd year. WOW

This summer has been one of many changes, many lessons learned, meeting of many new people.

The month of May was by far one of the best. I spend time with some of the most amazing friends and deepened friendships with some that I just met. I spent time with great people and learned a lot about trust. It was the bright beginning to a good summer.

The month of June was full or heartache, that turned into a blessing, and a lot of time at home in Indiana. I went through a break-up that I had no idea was coming. I learned about trusting my true feelings and being afraid of how I feel. I no longer am afraid of that. I spent a lot of time at home with my family and spent a week in Maytown, KY which turned out to be the best week of my life. I learned so much from God the time I spent there. Learned a lot about trusting God with my life, getting out of my comfort zone, and my passion for the homeless and poor deepened. I needed the spiritual refreshment that I found that week. I found God again, in the midst of a crazy month. I realized that the break-up I went through was for the best and I couldn't see myself anywhere else than where I am right now.

The month of July was by far one of the best. I started attending a new church (Peoples Church) and I have found a group of friends that sometimes I wonder how I ever survived without them. They welcomed me and accepted me and I feel like I've known them for years. It was a trust lesson with letting new people in but I haven't regretted it one bit. I learned a lot about God and his bigger plan for my life. I spent 4th of July with my family and had the most amazing conversation with my father, he said words I had only longed to hear from him my whole life.

The month of August has been, crazy, fast and a lot about trusting God and not losing faith. A lot of things with financial aid and school fell through and left looking like I wouldn't be returning to Olivet. I hit rock bottom and almost gave up all hope. With the support and prayers of my friends and family...I'm finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I have been working a lot with school starting back up and freshman coming. It has kept me busy but very tired. :) I found a new love for my job and each new day find something new and exciting about it.

I learned a lot about myself this summer. Who I am, who God wants me to be, and the future plans he has for me. When times got rocky and rough God always pulled through. I'm anxious to see what he has in store for me this coming year. Each new day God blesses me in new and exciting ways.

Monday, August 4, 2008


Each heart knows its own bitterness,
and no one else can share its joy
-Psalms 14:10

I never really knew what it felt like to be bitter until just the other day. It was a sudden attack of the Devil that has left me wrestling with this feeling that shouldn't be here. I'm not sure why I'm bitter, because I haven't been before. But something the other day just struck me.

Maybe it's all the empty promises. Maybe it was the way I led astray with no indications. Maybe it was the fact I was blinded by something that seemed all too perfect to be true. Maybe it was because for once in my life I did everything I told myself I wouldn't do and in return I was the one that wasn't trusted. I don't want to be bitter, because honestly it's not a pleasant feeling.

I don't want to be angry. I don't want to have to force myself to seem civilized. In Sunday School we were talking about how we know the difference between the voice of God and the voice of the Devil and how sometimes we just have to say 'Enough is Enough". I'm to the at point.


I don't like the way bitterness feels. It pulls me away from God. I'm giving into the devil's voice. Cathy was right, the devil's voice is nagging and annoying. I'm tired of hearing it. I'm done. I pray the bitterness is taken away.

" No matter what it takes I will offer,
Everything I am I give to you
Even unto death I will follow,
No matter what the price I will give to you now"